…let’s see how much typing I can get done.
The whole time I kept wondering if I would suffer for it in the end, if it would screw up his latch, all the stuff they warn you about during prenatal classes when they try to drill in the importance of all breastfeeding, all the time, for the first six months at least. They really hammer it home- no bottles, no pacifiers, no formula. And Yannick and I had such convictions that we would be able to do it.
Isabelle had come by the following morning (Tuesday) and weighed Jakob again and he was up an ounce, so our efforts were working. I was elated- until that afternoon when he seemed weaker than ever. Most feeds were an effort; he’d fall asleep so often while feeding that I had to constantly stroke his cheek, tap under his jaw, dab him with a cool compress, etc, to provoke him to wake up and keep sucking. Tuesday afternoon he was so sleepy that we were practically dipping him into a bowl of ice water and I couldn’t get him to wake up to drink. He slept through an entire feed and all I could think about was how much weight he’d lose and would we have to bring him back to the hospital. It was a lot of pressure for a situation that wasn’t completely in my control and it was a very hard time.
Even though he’d gained an ounce we weren’t out of the woods yet. We were asked to bring Jakob to the CLSC on Thursday to have him weighed again. Every Tuesday and Thursday the CLSC has a free clinic where you can get breastfeeding advice from a lactation consultant, weigh your baby, see a nurse, and chat/socialize with other mothers. We agreed to bring him then asked our important question: was he healthy enough for his bris which was scheduled for Friday morning? (The Jewish circumsision ceremony is usually done on the 8th day which would have been Thursday but it was a high holiday and because I’d had a c-section it was required to go to the Friday). She couldn’t tell us if he would be strong enough, it would all depend on his weight.
Thursday we took him out for the first time. Yannick took time off work and we brought him to the CLSC. Now he was up to 7 lbs 4 oz. It had taken him 2 days, but at least he’d put on some weight.
I was really scared for how the bris would knock him out though. A trauma like that would knock out any infant, but Jakob already had so little strength and I was afraid that any progress we’d made would be set back. Friday morning I gave him some baby Advil on the moyel’s advice (the rabbi who does the ceremony) and we went to the synagogue for the bris.
I’m happy to say he did really well. He cried for a split second when the moyel took off his diaper and he was exposed to the cold, and that was it. He did poo during the ceremony though, which will be a story we’ll love to tell his future dates. 🙂 We didn’t allow anyone to hold him during the brunch afterwards, as we wanted him to rest and recoup his strength.
Afterwards we went home and spent the weekend cocooning in our 3 hour routine. It was exhausting and frustrating and I cried and screamed more than I would like to admit, but we made it through our first week.
Next post: week two.